第四章    兔子派遣小比尔进屋
原来是那只小白兔，又慢慢地走回来了，它在刚才走过的路上焦急地到处审视，好像在寻找什么东西，爱丽丝还听到它低产咕噜：“公爵夫人呵！公爵夫人，唉！我亲爱的小爪子呀！我的小胡子呀！她一定会把我的头砍掉的，一定的！就像雪貂是雪貂那样千真万确！我是在哪儿丢掉的呢？”爱丽丝马上猜到它在找那把扇子和那双羊皮手套，于是，她也好心地到处寻找，可是找不见，自从她在池塘里游荡以来，好像所有东西都变了，就是那个有着玻璃桌子和小门的大厅也都不见了。
不一会，当爱丽丝还在到处找的时候，兔子看见了她，并且生气地向她喊道：“玛丽．安，你在外面干什么？马上回家给我拿一双手套和一把扇子来。赶快去！”爱丽丝吓得要命，顾不得去解释它的误会，赶快按它指的方向跑去了。
“它把我当成它的女仆了，”她边跑边对自己说，“它以后发现我是谁，会多么惊奇啊！可是我最好还是帮它把手套和扇子拿去——要是我能找到的话。”她说着到了一幢整洁的小房子前，门上挂着一块明亮的黄铜小牌子，刻着“白兔先生”。她没有敲门就进去了，急忙往楼上跑，生怕碰上真的玛丽．安，如果那样的话，她在找到手套和扇子之前就会从这个小屋里被赶出来的，
“这真奇怪！”爱丽丝对自己说，“给一只兔子跑腿，我看下一步就该轮到黛娜使唤我了。”于是她就想象那种情景：“‘爱丽丝小姐，快来我这儿，准备去散步，’‘我马上就来，保姆！可是在黛娜回来之前，我还得看着老鼠洞，不许老鼠出来，’不过，假如黛娜像这样使唤人的话，他们不会让它继续呆在家里了。”
这时，她已经走进了一间整洁的小房间，靠窗子有张桌子，桌子上正像她希望的那样，有一把扇子和两、三双很小的白羊羔皮手套，她拿起扇子和一双手套。正当她要离开房间的时候，眼光落在镜子旁边的一个小瓶上。这一次，瓶上没有“喝我”的标记。但她却拔开瓶塞就往嘴里倒。她想，“我每次吃或喝一点东西，总会发生一些有趣的事。所以我要看看这一瓶能把我怎么样。我真希望它会让我长大。说真的，做我现在这样一点儿的小东西，真厌烦极了。”
小瓶真的照办了，而且比她期望的还快，她还没有喝到一半，头已经碰到了天花板，因此，必须立即停止，不能再喝了！否则脖子要给折断了。爱丽丝赶紧扔掉瓶子，对自己说：“现在已经够了，不要再长了，可是就是现在这样，我也已经出不去了。嗨！我别喝这么多就好啦！”
唉！现在已经太迟了！她继续长啊，长啊！再待一会儿就得跪在地板上了，一分钟后，她必须躺下了，一只胳膊撑在地上，一只胳膊抱着头、可是还在长，这时只得把一只手臂伸出窗子，一只脚伸进烟囱，然后自语说：“还长的话怎么办呢？我会变成什么样子呢？”
幸运的是这只小魔术瓶的作用已经发挥完了，她不再长了，可是心里很不舒服，看来没有可能从这个房子里出去了。
“在家里多舒服，”可怜的爱丽丝想，“在家里不会一会儿变大，一会儿变小，而且不会被老鼠和兔子使唤。我希望不曾钻进这个兔子洞，可是……可是这种生活是那么离奇，我还会变成什么呢？读童话时我总认为那种事情永远不会发生的，可现在自己却来到这童话世界了，应该写一本关于我的书，应该这样，当我长大了要写—本——可我现在已经长大了啊。”她又伤心地加了一句：“至少这儿已经没有让我再长的余地了。”
“可是，”爱丽丝想，“我不会比现在年龄更大了！这倒是一个安慰，我永远不会成为老太婆了。但是这样就得老是上学了。唉，这我可不情愿！”
“啊，你这个傻爱丽丝！”她又回答自己，“你在这儿怎么上学呢？哎唷，这间房子差点儿装不下你，哪里还有放书的地方呢？”
她就这样继续说着，先装这个人，然后又装另一个人，就这样说了一大堆话。几分钟后，她听到门外有声音，才停止唠叨去听那个声音。
“玛丽·安，玛丽·安！”那个声音喊道，“赶快给我拿手套，”然后一连串小脚步声步上楼梯了。爱丽丝知道这是兔子来找她了，但是她忘了自己现在已经比兔子大了一千倍，因此还是吓得发抖，哆嗦得屋子都摇动了，
免子到了门外，想推开门，但是门是朝里开的，爱丽丝的胳膊肘正好顶着门，兔子推也推不动，爱丽丝听到它自语说，“我绕过去，从窗子爬进去。”
“这你休想，”爱丽丝想，她等了一会，直到听见兔子走到窗下，她突然伸出了手，在空中抓了一把，虽然没有抓住任何东西，但是听到了摔倒了的尖叫声，和打碎玻璃的哗啦啦的响声，根据这些声音，她断定兔子掉进玻璃温室之类的东西里面了。
接着是兔子的气恼声：“帕特！帕特！你在哪里？”然后，是一个陌生的声音，“是，我在这儿挖苹果树呢？老爷！”
“哼！还挖苹果树呢！”兔子气愤地说，“到这儿来，把我拉出来！”接着又是一阵弄碎玻璃的声音。
“给我说，帕特，窗子里是什么？”
“哟，一只胳膊，老爷！”
“—只胳膊！你这个傻瓜，哪有这样大的胳膊，嗯，它塞满了整个窗户呢！”
“不错，老爷，可到底是一只胳膊。”
“嗯。别罗嗦了，去把它拿掉！”
沉寂了好一阵，这时爱丽丝只能偶尔听到几句微弱的话音，如：“我怕见它，老爷，我真怕它！”……“照我说的办，你这个胆小鬼！”最后，她又张开手，在空中抓了一把，这一次听到了两声尖叫和更多的打碎玻璃的声音，“这里一定有很多玻璃温室！”爱丽丝想，“不知道他们下一步要干什么？是不是要把我从窗子里拉出去，嘿，我真希望他们这样做，我实在不愿意再呆下去了！”
她等了—会，没有听到什么声音，后来传来了小车轮的滚动声，以及许多人说话的嘈杂声，她听到说：“另外一个梯子呢？……嗯，我只拿了一个，别一个比尔拿着……比尔，拿过来，小伙子……到这儿来，放到这个角上……不，先绑在一起，现在还没一半高呢！……对，够了，你别挑刺啦！—一比尔，这里，抓住这根绳子……顶棚受得了吗？……小心那块瓦片松了……掉下来了，低头！（一个很大的响声）……现在谁来干？……我认为比尔合适，它可以从烟囱里下去。……不，我不干！……你干！……这我可不干……应该比尔下去……比尔！主人说让你下烟囱！”
“啊，这么说比尔就要从烟囱下来了，”爱丽丝对自己说，“嘿，它们好像把什么事情都推在比尔身上，我可不做比尔这个角色。说真的这个壁炉很窄，不过我还是可以踢那么一下。”
她把伸进烟囱里的脚收了收，等到听到一个小动物（她猜不出是什么动物）在烟囱里连滚带爬地接近了她的脚，这时她自语说：“这就是比尔了，”同时狠狠地踢了一脚，然后等着看下一步会发生些什么。
首先，她听到一片叫喊：“比尔飞出来啦！”然后是兔子的声音：“喂，篱笆边的人，快抓住它！”静了一会儿，又是一片乱嚷嚷：“抬起它的头……，快，白兰地……别呛着了它！怎么样了？老伙计，刚才你碰见了什么？告诉我们。”
最后传来的是一个微弱的尖细声（爱丽丝认为这是比尔）“唉，我一点也不知道……再不要，谢谢你，我已经好多了……我太紧张了，没法说清楚，我所知道的就是……不知什么东西，就像盒子里的玩偶人（西方小孩经常玩一种玩偶盒，一打开盒盖即弹出小玩偶来。）一样弹过来，于是，我就像火箭一样飞了出来！”
“不错，老伙计！你真是像火箭一样。”另外一个声音说。
“我们必须把房子烧掉！”这是兔子的声音。爱丽丝尽力喊道：“你们敢这样，我就放黛娜来咬你们！”
接着，是死一般的寂静，爱丽丝想：“不知道它们下一步想干什么，如果它们有见识的话，就应该把屋顶拆掉。”过了一两分钟，它们又走动了，爱丽丝听到兔子说：“开头用一车就够了。”
“一车什么呀？”爱丽丝想，但一会儿就知道了，小卵石像暴雨似的从窗子扔进来了，有些小卵石打到了她的脸上，“我要让他们住手，”她对自己说，然后大声喊道：“你们最好别再这样干了！”这一声喊叫后，又是一片寂静。
爱丽丝惊奇地注意到，那些小卵石掉到地板上部变成了小点心，她脑子里立即闪过了一个聪明的念头：“如果我吃上一块，也许会使我变小，现在我已经不可能更大了，那么，它一定会把我变小的。”
开是，她吞了一块点心，当即明显地迅速缩小了。在她刚刚缩到能够穿过门的时候，就跑出了屋子，她见到一群小动物和小鸟都守在外边，那只可怜的小壁虎——比尔在中间，由两只豚鼠扶着，从瓶子里倒着东西喂它。当爱丽丝出现的瞬间，它们全都冲上来。她拼了命，总算跑掉了，不久她就平安地到了一个茂密的树林里。
“我的第一件事，”爱丽丝在树林中漫步时对自己说，“是把我变到正常大小，第二件就是去寻找那条通向可爱的小花园的路。这是我最好的计划了。”
听起来，这真是个卓越的计划，而且安排得美妙而简单，唯一的困难是她不知道怎样才能办成。正当她在树林中着急地到处张望时，她头顶上面传来了尖细的犬吠声。她赶紧抬头朝上看，一只大的叭儿狗，正在瞪着又大又圆的眼睛朝下看着她，还轻轻地伸出一只爪子，要抓她。“可怜的小东西！”爱丽丝用哄小孩的声调说，一边还努力地向它吹口哨。但是实际上，她心里吓得要死，因为想到它可能饿了，那么不管她怎么哄它，它还是很可能把她吃掉的。
她几乎不知道该怎么办，拾了一根小树枝，伸向小狗，那只小狗立即跳了起来，高兴地汪、汪叫着，向树枝冲过去，假装要咬，爱丽丝急忙躲进一排蓟树丛后面，免得给小狗撞倒，她刚躲到另一边，小狗就向树枝发起第二次冲锋。它冲得太急了，不但没有抓着树枝，反而翻了个筋斗，爱丽丝觉得真像同一匹马玩耍，随时都有被它踩在脚下的危险，因此，她又围着蓟树丛转了起来，那只小狗又向树枝发起了一连串的冲锋。每一次都冲过了头，然后再后退老远，而且嘶声地狂吠着。最后它在很远的地方蹲坐了下来，喘着气，舌头伸在嘴外，那双大眼睛也半闭上了。
这是爱丽丝逃跑的好机会，她转身就跑了，一直跑得喘不过气来，小狗的吠声也很远了，才停了下来。
“然而，这是只多么可爱的小狗啊！”在爱丽丝靠在一棵毛茛上，用一片毛茛叶搧着休息时说，“要是我像正常那么大小，我真想教它玩许多把戏，啊，亲爱的，我几乎忘记我还要想法再长大呢？让我想一想，这怎么才能做到呢？我应该吃或者喝一点什么东西，可是该吃喝点什么呢？”
确实，最大的问题是吃喝点什么呢？爱丽丝看着周围的花草，没有可吃喝的东西。离她很近的地方长着一个大蘑菇，差不多同她一样高。她打量了蘑菇的下面、边沿、背面，还想到应该看看上面有什么东西。
她踮起脚尖，沿蘑菇的边朝上看，立即看到一只蓝色的大毛毛虫，正环抱胳膊坐坐在那儿，安静地吸着一个很长的水烟管，根本没有注意到她和其它任何事情。
（第四章完～）

CHAPTER V    Advice from a Caterpillar
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The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
`Who are YOU?'; said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alicereplied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.';
`What do you mean by that?'; said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!';
`I can';t explain MYSELF, I';m afraid, sir'; said Alice, `because I';m not myself, you see.';
`I don';t see,'; said the Caterpillar.
`I';m afraid I can';t put it more clearly,'; Alice replied very politely, `for I can';t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.';
`It isn';t,'; said the Caterpillar.
`Well, perhaps you haven';t found it so yet,'; said Alice; `but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you';ll feel it a little queer, won';t you?';
`Not a bit,'; said the Caterpillar.
`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,'; said Alice; `all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.';
`You!'; said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?';
Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar';s making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.';
`Why?'; said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
`Come back!'; the Caterpillar called after her. `I';ve something important to say!';
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
`Keep your temper,'; said the Caterpillar.
`Is that all?'; said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
`No,'; said the Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, `So you think you';re changed, do you?';
`I';m afraid I am, sir,'; said Alice; `I can';t remember things as I used--and I don';t keep the same size for ten minutes together!';
`Can';t remember WHAT things?'; said the Caterpillar.
`Well, I';ve tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came different!'; Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"'; said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began:--
`You are old, Father William,'; the young man said, `And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?';
`In my youth,'; Father William replied to his son, `I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I';m perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again.';
`You are old,'; said the youth, `as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?';
`In my youth,'; said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, `I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?';
`You are old,'; said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do it?';
`In my youth,'; said his father, `I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.';
`You are old,'; said the youth, `one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully clever?';

`I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'; Said his father; `don';t give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I';ll kick you down stairs!';
`That is not said right,'; said the Caterpillar.
`Not QUITE right, I';m afraid,'; said Alice, timidly; `some of the words have got altered.';
`It is wrong from beginning to end,'; said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
`What size do you want to be?'; it asked.
`Oh, I';m not particular as to size,'; Alice hastily replied; `only one doesn';t like changing so often, you know.';
`I DON';T know,'; said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
`Are you content now?'; said the Caterpillar.
`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn';t mind,'; said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched height to be.';
`It is a very good height indeed!'; said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
`But I';m not used to it!'; pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn';t be so easily offended!';
`You';ll get used to it in time,'; said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.';
`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?'; thought Alice to herself.
`Of the mushroom,'; said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
`And now which is which?'; she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
`Come, my head';s free at last!'; said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
`What CAN all that green stuff be?'; said Alice. `And where HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can';t see you?'; She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
`Serpent!'; screamed the Pigeon.
`I';m NOT a serpent!'; said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!';
`Serpent, I say again!'; repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I';ve tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!';
`I haven';t the least idea what you';re talking about,'; said Alice.
`I';ve tried the roots of trees, and I';ve tried banks, and I';ve tried hedges,'; the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but those serpents! There';s no pleasing them!';
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
`As if it wasn';t trouble enough hatching the eggs,'; said the Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven';t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!';
`I';m very sorry you';ve been annoyed,'; said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning.
`And just as I';d taken the highest tree in the wood,'; continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!';
`But I';m NOT a serpent, I tell you!'; said Alice. `I';m a--I';m a--';
`Well! WHAT are you?'; said the Pigeon. `I can see you';re trying to invent something!';
`I--I';m a little girl,'; said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
`A likely story indeed!'; said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. `I';ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You';re a serpent; and there';s no use denying it. I suppose you';ll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!';
`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,'; said Alice, who was a very truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.';
`I don';t believe it,'; said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why then they';re a kind of serpent, that';s all I can say.';
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, `You';re looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you';re a little girl or a serpent?';
`It matters a good deal to ME,'; said Alice hastily; `but I';m not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn';t want YOURS: I don';t like them raw.';
`Well, be off, then!'; said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come, there';s half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I';m never sure what I';m going to be, from one minute to another! However, I';ve got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?'; As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. `Whoever lives there,'; thought Alice, `it';ll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!'; So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.

第五章  毛毛虫的建议
毛毛虫和爱丽丝彼此沉默地注视了好一会。最后，毛毛虫从嘴里拿出了水烟管，用慢吞吞的、瞌睡似的声调同她说起了话。
“你是谁？”毛毛虫问，这可不是鼓励人谈话的开场白，爱丽丝挺不好意思地回答说：“我……眼下很难说，先生……至少今天起床时，我还知道我是谁的，从那时起，可是我就变了好几回了，”
“你这话是什么意思？”毛毛虫严厉地说，“你自己解释一下！”
“我没法解释，先生，”爱丽丝说，“因为我已经不是我自己了，你瞧。”
“我瞧不出。”毛毛虫说。
“我不能解释得更清楚了，”爱丽丝非常有礼貌地回答，“因为我压根儿不懂是怎么开始的，一天里改变好几次大小是非常不舒服的。”
“唉，也许你还没有体会，”爱丽丝说，“可是当你必须变成一只蝶蛹的时候——你知道自己总有一天会这样的——然后再变成一只蝴蝶、我想你会感到有点奇怪的，是不是，”
“一点也不。”毛毛虫说。
“哦！可能你的感觉同我不一样，”爱丽丝说，“可是这些事使我觉得非常奇怪。”
“你！”毛毛虫轻蔑地说，“你是谁？”
这句话又把他们带回了谈话的开头，对于毛毛虫的那些非常简短的回答，爱丽丝颇有点不高兴了，她挺直了身子一本正经地说：“我想还是你先告诉我，你是谁？”
“为什么？”毛毛虫说。
这又成了一个难题：爱丽丝想不出任何比较好的理由来回答它，看来，毛毛虫挺不高兴的，因此爱丽丝转身就走了。
“回来！”毛毛虫在她身后叫道，“我有几句重要的话讲！”这话听起来倒是鼓舞人的，于是爱丽丝回来了。
“别发脾气嘛！”毛毛虫说，
“就这个话吗？”爱丽丝忍住了怒气问。
“不。”毛毛虫说。
爱丽丝想反正没什么事，不如在这儿等一等，也许最后它会说一点儿值得听的话的。有好几分钟，他只是喷着烟雾不说话。最后它松开胳膊，把水烟管从嘴里拿出来，说：“你认为你已经变了，是吗？”
“我想是的，先生。”爱丽丝说。“我平时知道的事，现在都忘了，而且连把同样的身材保持十分钟都做不到，”
“你忘了些什么？”毛毛虫问。
“我试着背《小蜜蜂怎么干活》，可是背出来的完全变了样！”爱丽丝忧郁地回答。
“那么背诵《你老了，威廉爸爸》吧！”毛毛虫说。
爱丽丝把双手交叉放好，开始背了：
“年轻人说道：
‘你已经老啦，威廉爸爸，
你头上长满了白发。
可你老是头朝下倒立着，
像你这把年纪，这合适吗？’
‘当我年轻的时候，’
威廉爸爸回答儿子，
‘我怕这样会损坏脑子；
现在我脑袋已经空啦，
所以就这样玩个不止，’
‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说：‘像我刚才说的一样，
你已经变得非常肥胖；
可是你一个前空翻翻进门来，
这是怎么搞的？请你讲讲。’
‘当我年轻的时候，’
老哲人摇晃着灰白的卷发说道，
‘我总是让关节保持柔软灵巧，
我用的是这种一先令一盒的油膏，
你想要两盒吗，
请允许我向你推销，’
‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说，
‘你的下巴应该是
衰弱得只能喝些稀汤，
可是你把一只整鹅，
连骨带嘴全都吃光，
请问你怎能这样，’
‘当我年轻的时候，’爸爸说，
研究的是法律条文。
对于每个案子，
都拿来同妻子辩论，
因此我练得下巴肌肉发达，
这使我受用终身。’
‘你已经老啦，’年轻人说，
‘很难想象，
你的眼睛会像从前，一样闪光。
可是你居然能把一条鳗鱼，
竖在鼻子尖上。
请问，你怎会这么棒，’
“够啦，’他的爸爸说，
‘我已经回答了三个问题。
你不要太放肆啦，
我不会整天听你胡言乱语。
快滚吧，不然我就要，
一脚把你踢下楼梯。’”
“背错了。”毛毛虫说。
“我也怕不十分对，”爱丽丝羞怯地说，“有些字已经变了。”
“从头到尾都错了，”毛毛虫干脆地说。然后他们又沉默了几分钟。
毛毛虫首先开腔了：“你想变成多么大小呢？”
“唉！多么大小我倒不在乎。”爱丽丝急忙回答，“可是，一个人总不会喜欢老是变来变去的，这你是知道的。”
“我不知道。”毛毛虫说。
爱丽丝不说话了，她从来没有遭到过这么多的反驳，感到自己要发脾气了。
“你满意现在的样子吗？”毛毛虫说，
“哦，如果你不在意的话，先生，我想再大一点，”爱丽丝说，“像这样三英寸高，太可怜了，”
“这正是一个非常合适的高度。”毛毛虫生气地说，它说话时还使劲儿挺直了身子，正好是三英寸高。
“可我不习惯这个高度！”爱丽丝可怜巴巴地说道，同时心里想：“我希望这家伙可别发火！”
“不久你就会习惯的！”毛毛虫说着又把水烟管放进嘴里抽起来了。
这次，爱丽丝耐心地等着它开口，一两分钟后，毛毛虫从嘴里拿出了水烟管，打了个哈欠，摇了摇身子，然后从蘑菇上下来，向草地爬去，只是在它爬的时候，顺口说道：“一边会使你长高，另一边会使你变矮，”“什么东西的一边，什么东西的另一边？”爱丽丝想。
“蘑菇，”毛毛虫说，就好像爱丽丝在问它似的说完了话，一刹那就不见了。
有那么一两分钟，爱丽丝端详着那个蘑菇，思讨着哪里是它的两边。由于它十公圆，爱丽丝发现这个问题可不容易解决。不管怎样，最后，她伸开双管环抱着它，而且尽量往远伸，然后两只手分别掰下了一块蘑菇边。
“可现在哪边是哪边呢？”她问自己，然后啃了右手那块试试。蓦地觉得下巴被猛烈地碰了一下：原来下巴碰着脚背了。这突然的变化使她战栗，缩得太快了，再不抓紧时间就完了，于是，她立即去吃另一块，虽然下巴同脚顶得太紧，几乎张不开口，但总算把左手的蘑菇啃着了一点。
“啊，我的头自由了！”爱丽丝高兴地说，可是转眼间高兴变成了恐惧。这时，她发现找不见自己的肩膀了，她往下看时，只能见到了很长的脖子，这个脖子就像是矗立在绿色海洋中的高树杆。
“那些绿东西是什么呢？”爱丽丝说，“我的肩膀呢？哎呀！我的可怜的双手啊，怎样才能再见到你们呢？”她说话时挥动着双手，可是除了远处的绿树丛中出现一些颤动外，什么也没有了。
看起来，她的手没法举到头上来了，于是，她就试着把头弯下去凑近手。她高兴地发现自己的脖子像蛇一样，可以随便地往上下左右扭转，她把脖子朝下，变成一个“z”字形，准备伸进那些绿色海洋里去，发现这些绿色海洋不是别的，正是刚才曾经在它下面漫游的树林的树梢。就在这对，一种尖利的嘶声，使得她急忙缩回了头。一只大鸽子朝她脸上飞来，并且呼搧着翅膀疯狂地拍打她。
“蛇！”鸽子尖叫着。
“我不是蛇！”爱丽丝生气地说，“你走开！”
“我再说一遍，蛇！”鸽子重复着，可是已经是用很低的声音在说话了，然后还呜咽地加了一句：“我各种方法都试过了，但是没有一样能叫它们满意！”
“你的话我一点几都不懂！”爱丽丝说，
“我试了树根，试了河岸，还试了篱笆，”鸽子继续说着，并不注意她，“可是这些蛇！没法子让它们高兴！”
  
爱丽丝越来越奇怪了，但是她知道，鸽子不说完自己的话，是不会让别人说话的。
   
“仅仅是孵蛋就够麻烦的啦，”鸽子说，“我还得日夜守望着蛇，天哪！这三个星期我还没合过眼呢！”
“我很同情，你被人家扰乱得不得安宁，”爱丽丝开始有点明白它的意思了，
“我刚刚把家搬到树林里最高的树上，”鸽子继续说，把嗓门提高成了尖声嘶叫，“我想已经最后摆脱它们了，结果它们还非要弯弯曲曲地从天上下来不可。唉！这些蛇呀！”
“我可不是蛇，我告诉你！”爱丽丝说，“我是一个……我是一个……，
“啊，你是什么呢？”鸽子说，“我看得出你正想编谎哩！”
“我是一个小姑娘。”爱丽丝拿不准地说，因为她想起了这一天中经历的那么多的变化。
“说得倒挺像那么回事！”鸽子十分轻蔑地说，“我这辈子看见过许多小姑娘，可从来没有一个长着像你这样的长脖子的！没有，绝对没有！你是一条蛇，辩解是没有用的，我知道你还要告诉我，你从来没有吃过一只蛋吧！”
“我确实吃过许多的蛋，”爱丽丝说，（她是一个非常诚实的孩子。）“你知道，小姑娘也像蛇那样，要吃好多蛋的。”
“我不相信，”鸽子说，“假如她们吃蛋的话，我只能说她们也是一种蛇。”
这对于爱丽丝真是个新的概念，她愣了几分钟。于是鸽子趁机加了一句：“反正你是在找蛋，因此，你是姑娘还是蛇，对我都一样。”
“这对我很不一样，”爱丽丝急忙分辩，“而且老实说，我不是在找蛋，就算我在找蛋，我还不要你的呢？我是不吃生蛋的。”
“哼，那就滚开！”鸽子生气地说着，同时又飞下去钻进它的窝里了。爱丽丝费劲儿地往树林里蹲，因为她的脖子常常会被树叉挂住，要随时停下来排解。过了一会，她想起了手里的两块蘑菇，于是她小心地咬咬这块，又咬咬那块，因此她一会儿L长高，一会缩小，最后终于使自己成了平常的高度了。
   
由于她已经不是正常高度了，所以开头还有点奇怪，不过几分钟就习惯了。然后又像平常那样同自己说话了。“好啊，现在我的计划完成一半了。这些变化多么奇怪，我无法知道下一分钟我会是什么样儿。不管怎样，现在我总算回到自己原来的大小了，下一件事情就是去那个美丽的花园。可是我不知道该怎么去做呢？”说话间来到了一片开阔地，这里有一间四英尺高的小房子。“别管是谁住在这里，”爱丽丝想，“我现在这样的大小不能进去，邓会把它们吓得灵魂出窍的，”她小口小口地咬了一点右手上的蘑菇，一直到自己变成九英寸高，才走向那座小房子。
（第五章完～）

CHAPTER VI   Pig and Pepper
————————————————————————————————————
For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.'; The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.';
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
`There';s no sort of use in knocking,'; said the Footman, `and that for two reasons. First, because I';m on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because they';re making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.'; And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces.
`Please, then,'; said Alice, `how am I to get in?';
`There might be some sense in your knocking,'; the Footman went on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.'; He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But perhaps he can';t help it,'; she said to herself; `his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?'; she repeated, aloud.
`I shall sit here,'; the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--';
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming out, straight at the Footman';s head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.
`--or next day, maybe,'; the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.
`How am I to get in?'; asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
`ARE you to get in at all?'; said the Footman. `That';s the first question, you know.';
It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. `It';s really dreadful,'; she muttered to herself, `the way all the creatures argue. It';s enough to drive one crazy!';
The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,'; he said, `on and off, for days and days.';
`But what am I to do?'; said Alice.
`Anything you like,'; said the Footman, and began whistling.
`Oh, there';s no use in talking to him,'; said Alice desperately: `he';s perfectly idiotic!'; And she opened the door and went in.
The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.
`There';s certainly too much pepper in that soup!'; Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment';s pause. The only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
`Please would you tell me,'; said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, `why your cat grins like that?';
`It';s a Cheshire cat,'; said the Duchess, `and that';s why. Pig!';
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
`I didn';t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn';t know that cats COULD grin.';
`They all can,'; said the Duchess; `and most of ';em do.';
`I don';t know of any that do,'; Alice said very politely, feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.
`You don';t know much,'; said the Duchess; `and that';s a fact.';
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
`Oh, PLEASE mind what you';re doing!'; cried Alice, jumping up and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose';; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
`If everybody minded their own business,'; the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it does.';
`Which would NOT be an advantage,'; said Alice, who felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--';
`Talking of axes,'; said the Duchess, `chop off her head!';
Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--';
`Oh, don';t bother ME,'; said the Duchess; `I never could abide figures!'; And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:
`Speak roughly to your little boy, And beat him when he sneezes: He only does it to annoy, Because he knows it teases.';
CHORUS.
(In which the cook and the baby joined):--
`Wow! wow! wow!';
While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
`I speak severely to my boy, I beat him when he sneezes; For he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases!';
CHORUS.

`Wow! wow! wow!';
`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!'; the Duchess said to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,'; and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her.
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer- shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, `just like a star-fish,'; thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.
As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I don';t take this child away with me,'; thought Alice, `they';re sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn';t it be murder to leave it behind?'; She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don';t grunt,'; said Alice; `that';s not at all a proper way of expressing yourself.';
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,'; she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
No, there were no tears. `If you';re going to turn into a pig, my dear,'; said Alice, seriously, `I';ll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now!'; The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for some while in silence.
Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I to do with this creature when I get it home?'; when it grunted again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further.
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,'; she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.'; And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right way to change them--'; when she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
`Cheshire Puss,'; she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it';s pleased so far,'; thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?';
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,'; said the Cat.
`I don';t much care where--'; said Alice.
`Then it doesn';t matter which way you go,'; said the Cat.
`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,'; Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you';re sure to do that,'; said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.';
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. `What sort of people live about here?';
`In THAT direction,'; the Cat said, waving its right paw round, `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,'; waving the other paw, `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they';re both mad.';
`But I don';t want to go among mad people,'; Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can';t help that,'; said the Cat: `we';re all mad here. I';m mad. You';re mad.';
`How do you know I';m mad?'; said Alice.
`You must be,'; said the Cat, `or you wouldn';t have come here.';
Alice didn';t think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you';re mad?';
`To begin with,'; said the Cat, `a dog';s not mad. You grant that?';
`I suppose so,'; said Alice.
`Well, then,'; the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it';s angry, and wags its tail when it';s pleased. Now I growl when I';m pleased, and wag my tail when I';m angry. Therefore I';m mad.';
`I call it purring, not growling,'; said Alice.
`Call it what you like,'; said the Cat. `Do you play croquet with the Queen to-day?';
`I should like it very much,'; said Alice, `but I haven';t been invited yet.';
`You';ll see me there,'; said the Cat, and vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.
`By-the-bye, what became of the baby?'; said the Cat. `I';d nearly forgotten to ask.';
`It turned into a pig,'; Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a natural way.
`I thought it would,'; said the Cat, and vanished again.
Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I';ve seen hatters before,'; she said to herself; `the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won';t be raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.'; As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.
`Did you say pig, or fig?'; said the Cat.
`I said pig,'; replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn';t keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.';
`All right,'; said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
`Well! I';ve often seen a cat without a grin,'; thought Alice; `but a grin without a cat! It';s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!';
She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself `Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I';d gone to see the Hatter instead!

第六章   小猪和胡椒
她站在小房跟前看了一两分钟，想着下一步该干什么。突然间，一个穿着制服的仆人（她认为仆人是由于穿着仆人的制服，如果只看他的脸，会把他看成一条鱼的）从树林跑来，用脚使劲儿地踢着门。另一个穿着制服，长着圆脸庞和像青蛙一样大眼睛的仆人开了门，爱丽丝注意到这两个仆人，都戴着涂了脂的假发。她非常想知道这到底是怎么回事，于是就从树林里探出头来听。
鱼仆人从胳膊下面拿出一封很大的信，这信几乎有他身子那么大，然后把信递给那一个，同时还用严肃的声调说：“致公爵夫人：王后邀请她去玩槌球。”那位青蛙仆人只不过把语序变了一下，用同样严肃的声调重复着说：“王后的邀请：请公爵夫人去玩槌球。”
然后他们俩都深深地鞠了个躬，这使得他们的假发缠在一起了。这情景惹得爱丽丝要发笑了，她不得不远远地跑进树林里，免得被他们听到。她再出来偷看时，鱼仆人已经走了，另一位坐在门口的地上，呆呆地望着天空愣神。
爱丽丝怯生生地走到门口，敲了门。
“敲门没用。”那位仆人说，“这有两个原因：第一，因为我同你一样，都在门外，第二，他们在里面吵吵嚷嚷，根本不会听到敲门声。”确实，里面传来了很特别的吵闹声：有不断的嚎叫声，有打喷嚏声，还不时有打碎东西的声音，好像是打碎盘子或瓷壶的声音。
“那么，请告诉我，”爱丽丝说，“我怎么进去呢？”
“如果这扇门在我们之间，你敲门，可能还有意义，”那仆人并不注意爱丽丝，继续说着，“假如，你在里面敲门，我就能让你出来。”他说话时，一直盯着天空，爱丽丝认为这是很不礼貌的。“也许他没有办法，”她对自己说，“他的两只眼睛几乎长到头顶上了，但至少是可以回答问题的，我该怎样进去呢？”因此，她又大声重复地说。
“我坐在这里，”那仆人继续说他的，“直到明天……”
就在这时，这个房子的门开了，一只大盘子朝仆人的头飞来，掠过他的鼻子，在他身后的一棵树上撞碎了。
“……或者再过一天。”仆人继续用同样的口吻说，就像什么也没发生过。
“我该怎么进去呢？”爱丽丝更大声地问，
“你到底要不要进去呢？”仆人说，“要知道这是该首先决定的问题，”这当然是对的，不过爱丽丝不愿意承认这点，“真讨厌，”她对自己喃喃地说道，“这些生物讨论问题的方法真能叫人发疯。”
那仆人似乎认为是重复自己的话的好机会，不过稍微改变了一点儿说法：“我将从早到晚坐在这几，一天又一天地坐下去。”
“可是我该干什么呢？”爱丽丝说，
“你想干什么就干什么？”仆人说服就吹起口哨来了。
“唉，同他说话没用！”爱丽丝失望地说，“他完全是个白痴！”然后她就推开门自己进去了。
这门直通一间大厨房，厨房里充满了烟雾，公爵夫人在房子中间，坐在—只三腿小凳上照料一个小孩。厨师俯身在炉子上的一只人锅里搅拌着，锅里好像盛满了汤。
“汤里的胡椒确实太多了！”爱丽丝费劲儿地对自己说，并不停地打着喷嚏。
空气里的胡椒味也确实太浓了，连公爵夫人也常常打喷嚏。至于那个婴孩，不是打喷嚏就是嚎叫，一刻也不停。这间厨房里只有两个生物不打喷嚏，就是女厨师和一只大猫，那只猫正趴在炉子旁，咧着嘴笑哩。
“请告诉我，”爱丽丝有点胆怯地问，因为她还不十分清楚自己先开口合不合规矩，“为什么你的猫能笑呢？”
“它是柴郡猫（郡：英国的行政区域单位，柴郡为一个郡的名称，由于本书影响，现在西方人都把露齿傻笑的人称为柴郡猫。），”公爵夫人说，“这就是为什么它会笑了。猪！”
公爵夫人凶狠地说出的最后的—个字，把爱丽丝吓了一大跳。但是，爱丽丝马上发觉她正在同婴孩说话，而不是对自己说，于是她又鼓起了勇气，继续说：
“我还不知道柴郡猫经常笑，实际上，我压根儿不知道猫会笑的。”
“它们都会的，”公爵夫人说，“起码大多数都会笑的。”
“我连一只都没见过。”爱丽丝非常有礼貌地说，并对这场开始了的谈话感到高兴。
“你知道的太少了，”公爵夫人说，“这是个事实。”
爱丽丝不喜欢这种谈话的口气，想最好换个话题，她正在想话题的时候，女厨师把汤锅从火上端开了，然后立即把她随手能拿着的每件东西扔向公爵夫人和婴孩。火钩子第一个飞来，然后，平底锅、盆子、盘子像暴风雨似地飞来了。公爵夫人根本不理会，甚至打到身上都没反应。而那婴孩早已经拼命地嚎叫了，也不知道这些东西打到了他身上没有。
“喂，当心点！”爱丽丝喊着，吓得心头不住地跳，“哎哟，他那小鼻子完了。”真的，一只特大平底锅紧擦着鼻子飞过，差点就把鼻子削掉了。
“如果每个人都关心自己的事，”公爵夫人嘶哑着嗓子嘟喷着说，“地球就会比现在转得快一些。”
“这没好处，”爱丽丝说，她很高兴有个机会显示一下自己的知识，“你想想这会给白天和黑夜带来什么结果呢？要知道地球绕轴转一回要用二十四个钟头。”
“说什么？”公爵夫人说，“把她的头砍掉！”
爱丽丝相当不安地瞧了女厨师一眼，看她是不是准备执行这个命令，女厨师正忙着搅汤，好像根本没听到，于是爱丽丝又继续说：“我想是二十四个小时，或许是十二个小时，我……”
“唉，别打扰我！”公爵夫人说，“我受不了数字！”她说着照料孩子去了，她哄孩子时唱着一种催睡曲，唱到每句的末尾，都要把孩子猛烈地摇儿下。
“对你的小男孩要粗暴地说话，在他打喷嚏的时候就读他，因为他这样只是为了捣乱，他只不过是在撒娇和卖傻。”合唱（女厨师和小孩也参加）：哇！哇！哇！
公爵夫人唱第二段歌时，把婴孩猛烈地扔上扔下，可怜的小家伙没命地嚎哭，所以爱丽丝几乎都听不清唱词了：“我对我的小孩说话严厉，他一打喷嚏我就读他个够味，因为他只要高兴，随时可以欣赏胡椒的味道。”合唱：哇！哇！哇！
“来！如果你愿意的话，抱他一会儿！”公爵夫人一边对爱丽丝说，一边就把小孩扔给她，“我要同王后玩链球去了，得准备一下。”说着就急忙地走出了房间。她往外走时，女厨师从后自向她扔了只炸油锅，但是没打着。
爱丽丝费劲儿地抓住那个小孩，因为他是个样子奇特的小生物，他的胳膊和腿向各个方向伸展，“真像只海星，”爱丽丝想，她抓着他时，这可怜的小家伙像蒸汽机样地哼哼着，还把身子一会儿蜷曲起来，一会儿伸开，就这样不停地折腾，搞得爱丽丝在最初的一两分钟里，只能勉强把他抓住。
她刚找到—种拿住他的办法（把他像打结一样团在一起，然后抓紧他的右耳朵和左脚，他就不能伸开了）时，就把他带到屋子外面的露天地方去了。“如果我不把婴孩带走，”爱丽丝想，“她们肯定在一两天里就会把他打死的。把他扔在这里不就害了他吗？”最后一句她说出声来了，那小家伙咕噜了一声作为回答（这段时间他已经不打喷嚏了）。别咕噜，”爱丽丝说，“你这样太不像样子了。”
那婴孩又咕噜了一声，爱丽丝很不安地看了看他的脸，想知道是怎么回事。只见他鼻子朝天，根本不像个常人样，倒像个猪鼻子；他的眼睛也变得很小不像个婴孩了。爱丽丝不喜欢这副模样。“也许他在哭吧，”爱丽丝想。她就看看他的眼睛，有没有眼泪。
没有，一点儿眼泪也没有。“如果你变成了一只猪，”爱丽丝严肃地说，“听着，我可再不理你了！”那可怜的小家伙又抽泣了一声（或者说又咕噜了—声，很难说到底是哪种），然后他们就默默地走了一会儿。
爱丽丝正在想：“我回家可把这小生物怎么办呢？，这时，他又猛烈地咕噜了一声，爱丽丝马上警觉地朝下看他的脸。这次一点儿都不会错了，它完全是只猪。她感到如果再带着它就太可笑了。
于是她把这小生物放下，看着它很快地跑进树林，感到十分轻松。“如果它长大的话，爱丽丝对自己说，“一定会成为可怕的丑孩子，要不就成为个漂亮的猪。”然后，她去一个个想她认识的孩子，看看谁如果变成猪更像样些，她刚想对自己说：“只要有人告诉他们变化的办法……”，这时，那只柴郡猫把她吓了一跳，它正坐在几码远的树枝上。

猫对爱丽丝只是笑，看起来倒是好脾气。爱丽丝想，不过它还是有很长的爪子和许多牙齿，因此还应该对它尊敬点。
“柴郡猫，”她胆怯地说。还不知道它喜欢不喜欢这个名字，可是，它的嘴笑得咧开了。“哦，它很高兴，”爱丽丝想，就继续说了：“请你告诉我，离开这里应该走哪条路？”
“这要看你想上哪儿去，”猫说。
“去哪里，我不大在乎。”爱丽丝说。
“那你走哪条路都没关系。”猫说。
“只要．能走到一个地方。”爱丽丝又补充说了一句。
“哦，那行，”猫说，“只要你走得很远的话。”
爱丽丝感到这话是没法反对的，所以她就试着提了另外的一个问题：“这周围住些什么？”
“这个方向”猫说着，把右爪子挥了一圈，“住着个帽匠；那个方向，”猫又挥动另一个爪子，“住着一只三月兔。你喜欢访问谁就访问谁，他们俩都是疯子。”
“我可不想到疯子中间去。”爱丽丝回答。
“啊，这可没法，”猫说，“我们这儿全都是疯的，我是疯的，你也是疯的。”
“你怎么知道我是疯的？”爱丽丝问。
“一定的，”猫说，“不然你就不会到这里来了。”
爱丽丝想这根本不能说明问题，不过她还是继续问：“你又怎么知遏你是疯子呢？”
“咱们先打这里说起，”猫说，“狗是不疯的，你同意吗？”
“也许是吧！爱丽丝说。
“好，那么，”猫接着说，“你知道，狗生气时就叫，高兴时就摇尾巴，可是我，却是高兴时就叫，生气时就摇尾巴。所以，我是疯子。”
“我把这说成是打呼噜，不是叫。”爱丽丝说。
“你怎么说都行，”猫说，“你今天同王后玩槌球吗？”
“我很喜欢玩槌球，”爱丽丝说，“可是到现在还没有邀请我嘛！”
“你，会在那儿看到我！”猫说着突然消失了。
爱丽丝对这个并不太惊奇，她已经习惯这些不断发生的怪事了。她看着猫坐过的地方，这时，猫又突然出现了。
“顺便问一声，那个婴孩变成什么了？”猫说，“我差一点忘了。”
“已经变成一只猪了。”爱丽丝平静地回答说，就好像猫再次出现是正常的。
“我就想它会那样的。”猫说着又消失了。
爱丽丝等了一会，还希望能再看见它，可是它再没出现。于是，她就朝着三月兔住的方向走去。“帽匠那儿，我也要去的。”她对自己说，“三月兔一定非常有趣，现在是五月，也许它不至于太疯——至少不会比三月份疯吧。”就在说这些话时，一抬头又看见那只猫，坐在一根树枝上。
“你刚才说的是猪，还是竹？”猫问。
“我说的是猪，”爱丽丝回答，“我希望你的出现和消失不要太突然，这样，把人搞得头都晕了。”
“好，”猫答应着。这次它消失得非常慢，从尾巴尖开始消失，一直到最后看不见它的笑脸，那个笑脸在身体消失后好久，还停留了好一会儿。
“哎哟，我常常看见没有笑脸的猫，”爱丽丝想，“可是还从没见过没有猫的笑脸呢。这是我见过的最奇怪的事儿了。”
她没走多远，就见到了一间房子，她想这一定是三月兔的房子了，因为烟囱像长耳朵，屋顶铺着兔子毛。房子很大，使她不敢走近。她咬了口左手的蘑菇，使自己长到了二英尺高，才胆怯地走去，一边对自己说：“要是它疯得厉害可怎么办？我还不如去看看帽匠呢！”
（第六章完～）

CHAPTER VII    A Mad Tea-Party
——————————————————————————————
There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'; thought Alice; `only, as it';s asleep, I suppose it doesn';t mind.';
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!'; they cried out when they saw Alice coming. `There';s PLENTY of room!'; said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
`Have some wine,'; the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. `I don';t see any wine,'; she remarked.
`There isn';t any,'; said the March Hare.
`Then it wasn';t very civil of you to offer it,'; said Alice angrily.
`It wasn';t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,'; said the March Hare.
`I didn';t know it was YOUR table,'; said Alice; `it';s laid for a great many more than three.';
`Your hair wants cutting,'; said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
`You should learn not to make personal remarks,'; Alice said with some severity; `it';s very rude.';
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?';
`Come, we shall have some fun now!'; thought Alice. `I';m glad they';ve begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,'; she added aloud.
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'; said the March Hare.
`Exactly so,'; said Alice.
`Then you should say what you mean,'; the March Hare went on.
`I do,'; Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that';s the same thing, you know.';
`Not the same thing a bit!'; said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!';
`You might just as well say,'; added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!';
`You might just as well say,'; added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!';
`It IS the same thing with you,'; said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn';t much.
The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of the month is it?'; he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.';
`Two days wrong!'; sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter
wouldn';t suit the works!'; he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
`It was the BEST butter,'; the March Hare meekly replied.
`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,'; the Hatter grumbled: `you shouldn';t have put it in with the bread-knife.';
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It was the BEST butter, you know.';
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. `What a funny watch!'; she remarked. `It tells the day of the month, and doesn';t tell what o';clock it is!';
`Why should it?'; muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?';
`Of course not,'; Alice replied very readily: `but that';s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.';
`Which is just the case with MINE,'; said the Hatter.
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter';s remark seemed to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. `I don';t quite understand you,'; she said, as politely as she could.
`The Dormouse is asleep again,'; said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.';
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?'; the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
`No, I give it up,'; Alice replied: `what';s the answer?';
`I haven';t the slightest idea,'; said the Hatter.
`Nor I,'; said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,'; she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.';
`If you knew Time as well as I do,'; said the Hatter, `you wouldn';t talk about wasting IT. It';s HIM.';
`I don';t know what you mean,'; said Alice.
`Of course you don';t!'; the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!';
`Perhaps not,'; Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.';
`Ah! that accounts for it,'; said the Hatter. `He won';t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he';d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o';clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you';d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!';
(`I only wish it was,'; the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
`That would be grand, certainly,'; said Alice thoughtfully: `but then--I shouldn';t be hungry for it, you know.';
`Not at first, perhaps,'; said the Hatter: `but you could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked.';
`Is that the way YOU manage?'; Alice asked.
The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!'; he replied. `We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'; (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you';re at!"
You know the song, perhaps?';
`I';ve heard something like it,'; said Alice.
`It goes on, you know,'; the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
"Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle--"';
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--'; and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.
`Well, I';d hardly finished the first verse,'; said the Hatter, `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He';s murdering the time! Off with his head!"';
`How dreadfully savage!'; exclaimed Alice.

`And ever since that,'; the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, `he won';t do a thing I ask! It';s always six o';clock now.';
A bright idea came into Alice';s head. `Is that the reason so many tea-things are put out here?'; she asked.
`Yes, that';s it,'; said the Hatter with a sigh: `it';s always tea-time, and we';ve no time to wash the things between whiles.';
`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?'; said Alice.
`Exactly so,'; said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.';
`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?'; Alice ventured to ask.
`Suppose we change the subject,'; the March Hare interrupted, yawning. `I';m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.';
`I';m afraid I don';t know one,'; said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.
`Then the Dormouse shall!'; they both cried. `Wake up, Dormouse!'; And they pinched it on both sides at once.
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn';t asleep,'; he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows were saying.';
`Tell us a story!'; said the March Hare.
`Yes, please do!'; pleaded Alice.
`And be quick about it,'; added the Hatter, `or you';ll be asleep again before it';s done.';
`Once upon a time there were three little sisters,'; the Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--';
`What did they live on?'; said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.
`They lived on treacle,'; said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two.
`They couldn';t have done that, you know,'; Alice gently remarked; `they';d have been ill.';
`So they were,'; said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.';
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?';
`Take some more tea,'; the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
`I';ve had nothing yet,'; Alice replied in an offended tone, `so I can';t take more.';
`You mean you can';t take LESS,'; said the Hatter: `it';s very easy to take MORE than nothing.';
`Nobody asked YOUR opinion,'; said Alice.
`Who';s making personal remarks now?'; the Hatter asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the bottom of a well?';
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then said, `It was a treacle-well.';
`There';s no such thing!'; Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!'; and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, `If you can';t be civil, you';d better finish the story for yourself.';
`No, please go on!'; Alice said very humbly; `I won';t interrupt again. I dare say there may be ONE.';
`One, indeed!'; said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw, you know--';
`What did they draw?'; said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
`Treacle,'; said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
`I want a clean cup,'; interrupted the Hatter: `let';s all move one place on.';
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse';s place, and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: `But I don';t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?';
`You can draw water out of a water-well,'; said the Hatter; `so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?';
`But they were IN the well,'; Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.
`Of course they were';, said the Dormouse; `--well in.';
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.
`They were learning to draw,'; the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--';
`Why with an M?'; said Alice.
`Why not?'; said the March Hare.
Alice was silent.
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness-- you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?';
`Really, now you ask me,'; said Alice, very much confused, `I don';t think--';
`Then you shouldn';t talk,'; said the Hatter.
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
`At any rate I';ll never go THERE again!'; said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. `It';s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!';
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. `That';s very curious!'; she thought. `But everything';s curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.'; And in she went.
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. `Now, I';ll manage better this time,'; she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.