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[英语幽默] chinese english

chinese english

01.we two who and who?
  咱俩谁跟谁阿
02.how are you ? how old are you?
  怎么是你,怎么老是你?
03.you don`t bird me,I don`t bird you
  不鸟我,我也不鸟你
04.you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ! together up !
  你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上!
05.hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!
  有事起奏,无事退朝
  
06.you me you me j
  彼此彼此
07.You Give Me Stop!!
  你给我站住!
08.know is know noknow is noknow
  知之为知之,不知为不知...
09.WATCH SISTER
  表妹
10.dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!!
  龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞!
11.American Chinese not enough
  美中不足
12.one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
  车祸现场描述
13.heart flower angry open
  心花怒放  
14.go past no mistake past
  走过路过,不要错过  
15.小明:I am sorry! ;
  老外:I am sorry too!
  小明:I am sorry three!
  老外:What are you sorry for?
  小明:I am sorry five!
16.If you want money,I have no;
  if you want life,I have one!
  要钱没有,要命一条
 
17.I call Li old big. toyear 25.
  我叫李老大,今年25。
18.you have two down son。
  你有两下子。  
19.as far as you go to die
  有多远,死多远!!!!
20.I give you face you don``t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face  给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸 
21. no three no four
  不三不四

[ 本帖最后由 紫儿 于 2006-5-4 06:29 PM 编辑 ]

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the reason why u r rejected in an interview

Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u!
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here
permanently. And my company don't want to pay
extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because
of u.

Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking
for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to
consider this
personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation
but because my company is dealing with arts, our
company requested an artist.

Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of
fighting spirit.

Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you
because you are a "grasshoper"!
(Job hoper lah!)

Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you
because our company
is dealing with money and you will seduce.

Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: Yes, very rich. He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your
boyfriend doesn't even want to employ you, neither
do we!
C: But...... there is no position in his company.
E: Then..... what is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your
prettiness will affect our managers' working spirits.
C: But...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not
be interested in you!!

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why singapore banned chewing gum

A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia..

He was having his coffee, croissants, bread butter & jam at the hotel's coffee house.

A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : "You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?"

Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian : "We don't. In Malaysia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore."

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : "Do you eat the jam with the bread?"

Singaporean : "Of course."

Malaysian (chuckling): "We don't. In Malaysia we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam,..... before we sell it across to Singapore."

This time, the Singaporean retorted : "Do you have sex in Malaysia?"

Malaysian : "Why, of course we do"

Singaporean : "Do you wear protection"

Malaysian : "Of course! We wear condoms."

Singaporean : "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Malaysian :"Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away."

Singaporean : "We don't. In Singapore, the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia,... & that's the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore."

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第一个漏居有,不过很好玩
~~~
AIESEC Rocks!

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i don't get it, except for the first post, all of them are sort of jokes... which don't really make any sense, like the interview one, it's personal, i would rather say: I'd rather not answer, you have the right to, you know~~

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很好玩的说
THANKS
!

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chinese english有个专门的说法:
chinglish
我的留言本
BBS

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应该是Chiglish的说...

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-口-~~~~~~~~~~~~突然想到句话。

Wrong!Big wrong and Special wrong!

小梦独创- -~~
今夜 免許皆伝

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