may 2004-7-25 01:30 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
well,my English is poor,you can help me find the mistakes,thank you very much.
Love
Stars are shining,
I can see your smile.
Rivers are flowing,
I can hear your heart.
Let us share
the most romantic thing under the sun
——It is love, love forever.
The life
I said:
“The sky is dark blue,
no stars.
My future is badly sad,
no hopes. ”
The fairy said:
“No, why can’t you see
the beauty around us?
We live
for the warm sun,
We be happy
for the white clouds.
Today,
we live and be happy.
Tomorrow
is another day,
just like today,
isn’t it? ”
ah,it';s chinglish,isn';it?Don';t laugh!!!
Aimita 2004-7-25 02:29 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
Why it is "We be happy"?It should be "We are happy".and the same mistake in the line "we live and be happy".
"No, why can’t you see the beauty around us?" I love this line.It makes me remember the words in the movie called [I]American Beauty[/I]:"it';s hard to stay mad, when there';s so much beauty in the world.......I can';t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
EmmaWatson 2004-7-25 03:19 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
[这个贴子最后由EmmaWatson在 2004/07/27 08:25pm 第 1 次编辑]
在阳光中should be "in the sun" not " under the sun"
they seem to be so gud...lol...propz for u
Aimita 2004-7-25 03:23 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
under the sun也可以，在太阳下，一部电影的名字。
EmmaWatson 2004-7-25 03:29 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
在太阳下..OKAY~
在阳光中...理解有偏差
er...
Rivers are flowing,
I can hear your heart.
Rivers ==> plural
but heart ==> singular
还是我理解错误喵...???
Aimita 2004-7-25 03:33 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
hiahia,the rivers share one heart,河神的心脏.呼呼.胡侃了开始.你还是问May吧.
另外,in the [b]sun[/b] or in the sunlight?
EmmaWatson 2004-7-25 03:36 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
in da sun就是阳光中的意思拉
这个是老师说的...擦汗
其实MAY写的很形象丫
may 2004-7-25 04:29 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
hoho,"under the sun"是突然想起来公英一级的词组,意思是"普天下,全世界",那句是说"世上最浪漫的事".
从河流想到心是瞎拽的啦,Aimita翻译的太没诗意了,"心脏"?好歹也是个"心声"或"心跳"之类的吧.单复数问题我倒没想过.(说实话,我写诗就善于把不相干的事扯在一起,千万别研究那些之间有什么关系.)
没看懂三楼第二句评点的意思,我对美国俗语知道不多.
别评诗的意思了,要不一会就该千疮百孔的说.行行好,挑几个语法错误就放过我吧.呼,may溜了先.
JUNEYEAH 2004-7-25 05:03 PM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
不错哦！希望能再接再厉！给你加重作奖励！^o^
Aimita 2004-7-26 02:49 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
[quote][b]下面引用由[u]may[/u]在 [i]2004/07/24 08:29pm[/i] 发表的内容：[/b]
从河流想到心是瞎拽的啦,Aimita翻译的太没诗意了,"心脏"?好歹也是个"心声"或"心跳"之类的吧.
[/quote]
我说得比较通俗而已。再说心跳也是heartbeat呀。倒是，heart有“宝贝儿”（寒~~）的意思。够不够诗意？ ^^|||
后来我还想了一下。会不会这个"your heart"不是河流的，而是看到河流奔腾于是思念如潮，就好象听到你的恋人(heart,hoho~~)的heartbeat呢。
我喜欢杜撰 ：）
wy流浪狗 2004-7-26 03:30 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
就是那个"be"有问题。。。不过有人说了。。。还有那个under。。。比较常用的应该还是in the sun.....
至于那个单数复数应该不用深究吧。。。总之写得还是很不错啊。。。
咪呜 2004-7-28 12:01 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
beside some gramer mistakes, it is a good work!
luxiaohui2 2004-7-28 02:18 PM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
"under the sun" is appopriate, but if you really want to use "in", use the phrase "in the sunlight/sunshine". Because I think "in the sun" will make someone think you are actually [b]in[/b] the sun~~~~~
艾儿 2004-8-18 02:49 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
也许,你可以试着压韵,这样读起来会朗朗上口.
夏天的落叶 2004-8-18 07:06 AM
我的两首英文诗,请多多指教.
wonderful!
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