查看完整版本: [原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

This is the first time ever I write something. No matter it's good or not ,please say something for comment. Lots of thanks.                                
                                       1
First what I want to mention is that the whole story I'm telling is all about a silly girl.So if you're not interested in a normal lift story ,close the book quickly and leave it to other people.But I remind you ,if a story about Cinderella comes to the morden world and her name happens to be Mars can't attract you,I'm afraid you'll have to worry about your emotional ability.Yes that's right ,my name is Mars,which is such a shame to say.My sex?Female ,I'm a girl.Oh don't laugh ,guys,please!Iknow everytime I speak outmy name or someone calls it and as soon as others figure out I'm a girl ,it all goes the same .My world's full of laugher,disparaging laugher."Sinlent, OK? I'm telling my story.""Well you have a story?About what ?Not some heroic events happenedto Mars?""No,leave me alone."Forgive me .That's my younger bronther,Jupiter.Same nice name as I have ,eh?The truth is all of the children in my house have weird names.All because of my Dad.He an astronomist, completely Astronomy oover.Or this kind of damn thought that name all his children with the names of the 9planets in the Milk Way wouldn;t hit him .So he forced my Mom to have 9 babies, and gave then the name :Mercury,Venus,Earth,Mars,Jupiter,Saturn,Uranus,Neptune andPluto.I always think fate is too unfair,why I have to te theforth baby that'd been born, but a girl.Tough Dad loves me the most.He always says that I will become a successful career woman because of my name ,but now you can see clearly tha name means nother ,'cause I,and everyone who knows me find that I am not good at anything, though not too bad in Mathes.All the hobbies I have is to read the novels written by J.K. Rowling,"Harry Potter'series.Sometiomes I'd like to imagine that I could ve a wilth so that I would be able to curse all those who laugh at  me.Maybe not all  ,but particularly Emily Prkinson.She'sreally a kind of bitch-looking girl.But she always takes a lipstick with her so that she can renovate her rose red lip after smoothing with buys at a corner of the school building.All right,I really can't figure out where does she find all those words to express her mistreatment to me .I mean we were kind of friends in kindergarden.I really don't know when she moved to the Dark Side.Now everytime we walk into face to face,she often gives me one of her nasty smiles, then yelling"Everyone, stand aside !Don't block our honorable filthy little Mars'road."Then quickly wald away, laughing ,towards my sister,Venus,who is the only person can press Emily down.Of course ,Venus ,like her name, is one of the most populat girls in this school.I'm just wondering why she weren't a boy!Every morning I can hear some boy calling her name as I wake up.As you think,lots of boys would like to have her as their girlfriend because of her name, and her beauth is just fit her name.Every morning,it goes the same,So was today.
Iwas draming about Hrry (the hero of the book)came to outside my window ,shouting "come om,There's something I want to show you.Hurry up ,Venus." But when I heard the last word,I mean the name,I was confused that maybe he fot the wrong one.No sooner I was about to correct hin than I suddenly became totally awake.I sat up and looked outside.It wasn't harry,but a handsome boy standing by a coll car.Must be Venus' new boy friend.Putting on my school uniform lasily ,still sleepy,I went down tp the dinging room for breakfast.OOPS! A scene of crowded and noisy again.Mercury was sitting at the table reading her testbook for graduation as well as drinking a big glass of milk;Venus was running , still combing her bright blonde hair, frome one side of the room(the bathroom where the make-up mirror was set)to the other side; Earth was listening to rock music through headphones(I guess so ,'cause he always does), rolling his big butt as the pace; Jupiter,Saturn and uranus were playing chess while the 2 babies , one is crying and one is sleeping is Mom's arms;Dad was answering a call,and he seemed very excited, things about astronomy I bet.
"Remember to take the tie with you.We'll have some important guests at school today."As I joined her at the table,Mercury looked up at me and said.I helped myself to some dry bread and asked"What important guests?""The presodent of Seattle US Corporation,Mr Madison and his son,Daniel.But,"her eyes narrowed ,a ting of angry appeared,"You really need learn to memorize something.Like this kind of matters which is associated with the profit of school.You need to think more about school, as a menber of the students in there!"She gave me a serious and unsatisfied look,then went back on with her book.Yes,Mercury always thinks about school.She's the Head Girl there.She cares more about the school tasks than herself.Andsay the Seattle corporation.Oh,I know.That's the corporation that is going to invest our school to build an astronomical observatory.Though why,I don't know .Maybe because this school is supposed to ve a good one in the New York city.But there 're lots of good school in this prosperous city.Or maybe they saw that there're some students that stand a chance or have a good family background to become astronomer ,like the children in my house.For the group from this one of the biggest company in USA would come here to do some investigation, yesterday the headmaster of our school told us over and over again to:
    1) be polite to the guests;
    2)wear the tie and make your uniforn clean and tidy;
    3) no lateness for school and
    4) get ready to the evening party,no absence.
"Ah,guess what, kids?Your school's just done an adorable thing."Dad joined us ,taken me back to reality from my memory."What?" Jupiter looked up from the chessboard and asked.(Just then Venus ' boyfriend's car were hoarsing past the window, with Venus yelling"Cool!")Dad smiled, no laughed!We could see that he was too happy to move his mouth to make the right pronunciation ."Your headmaster's just called me and tell me the school would like to invite me as the consultant of the astronomical observatoryonce the investment is settled.here I'd like to memtion.Dad is not just an astronomy lover, but an expert as well.He's now a professor of the New York University,a doctor in this realm."Good,"answered Earth,"then you'll come to the party tonight, won't you?"Pulling off his headphones."Brilliant, boy!That's right,And you girls.Mercury, Mars and Vens, will be the representative students of tonight."I looked at somebody's reaction:Dad seeme to be proud and think that we were certainly proud; Mercury raised her head and made the expreesion that this was her certain job;Earth laughed, murmuring"you'll have a good time";And I guess Venus would pick up her make up and run straight towards the bathroom, to get to her work on her face and hair.What about me?Thinking that my schoolmates, especially Emily would got another perfect chance to laugh at me,I frustratedly throw the schoolbag on to my shoulder and went outside to school with a "Good luck,you all!" to the others.
                                                             (To be continued)
Tell me what do you think?

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

faint...........................

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

oh but I 've found some mistakes in it myself. Sorry everyone.Excuse me!
But please support me as well. Thanks.

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

yeah! nearly faint...........................too long.but it`s soooo wonderful!really!go on writing

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

mistake??????
nyou could change ir.....................

go...on!!!
come on~!

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

Thank you! Thanks! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

you're welcome

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

you've got quite a lot of supporters here, so keep writing, do your best.

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

yes~~
come on~~~~~

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

So long ~~~~~~

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

我查了几次文曲星才把它全读下来，写的不错，楼主加油

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

......very.......nice ,go on!

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

Did you got this idea form Weasley's family? a huge family it is.
So what happened then? Mars met that boy named Daniel in the party? Cinderella become princess? I guess.

[原创]Cinderella Universe 1(Oh my first time ever to write someting,come on)

I was just attracted by the name of the story.I'm so sorry that it's realy too long for me to finish it.  Come on!  It's what I only would like to say.